Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
