He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
