I smell stomach acid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize