So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
