Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just google imaged poop.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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