It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
