just come out here and I will go home with you...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
