Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize