I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize