There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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