I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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