dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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