dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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