It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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