I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
