i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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