You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
