Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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