I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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