you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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