let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
