Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
