party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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