Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
