So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
