I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize