Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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