the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
