I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
