My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
