I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
