I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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