so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i love accidental penises.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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