wanna go halves on a baby?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i think i just lost a toe
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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