You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
