Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
