Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
