3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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