At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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