That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
