My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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