guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
