So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize