At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
