Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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