I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
