just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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