is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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