So drunk its hurt
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
