Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize