the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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