can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
