She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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