so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ttyl tear gas
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
