Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
