ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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