worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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