i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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