he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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