We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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