I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
