I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
